Curbing sexual abuse via educating children on proper names of genitals

By Abiemwense Moru (News Agency of Nigeria)

Some parents are in the habit of not teaching their children the proper names of penis, vagina and breasts. Instead of penis, they teach their children to say `pee pee,’ `tom tom,’ `jolo jolo,’ ruler, among others.

Instead of vagina, some parents will teach their children to say `bom bom’ `aso rock,’ `T-junction,’ pawpaw,’ among others.

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These funny names could be problematic as the children grow up, while it would not eventually help the children.

Unarguably, it is necessary parents teach the children the correct names of genitals as early as they are teaching them names of other parts of the body in order to avoid sexual abuse

Narrating her experience, Mrs Sarah Iyoha, a volunteer with a non-governmental organisation, said she taught her daughter the names of her body parts at age 2.

“I taught my daughter the right names of her genital because I didn’t want her to learn the wrong names from someone else or her peers.

“It is better she learns from home so that out there she will not be deceived but protect herself, as some people refer to vagina as bom bom.

“I tried my best to give her sex education too at age 10, just before her menstrual cycle began which has really helped her.

“Parents should teach them as they’re teaching them eyes, nose, mouth and ears, just the way they have to tell them vagina, vulva, penis and buttocks.

“Don’t make it sound like it’s something that we have to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

“My advice to parents is to ensure they give their children both male and female sex education to keep them guided.

“Early sex education has multiple benefits for children and develops a stronger bond between children and their parents,” she said.

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A 22-year-old trader, Miss Ruth Yusuf, said she was not taught the right names of body parts while growing up nor given sex education.

According to her, the right information I didn’t get affected my growth which almost led to my being molested as a younger girl.

Also, a 17-year-old student, Miss kate Babatunde, said learning names of her private parts from her parents at an early age was beneficial to her which didn’t give room to anyone to give her wrong information about herself.

“For me, I am happy I was taught at an early age about myself.  I didn’t have to start asking friends about myself.

“I have heard of how some children have been molested by those expected to protect them, so we can report such when we are informed,” she said.

Dr Ejike Oji, Chairman, Management Committee Association for the Advancement of Family Planning, reiterated the need for children to know when to draw the line between family bonding and molestation.

“Nothing is wrong when family lean on each other, but when these persons begin to touch their private parts, this is when it should be prohibited and be seen as a danger sign.

“This should be stopped from the very beginning,” he said.

Oji, who adopted one of the children in the vicinity upon hearing she was an orphan and could not afford her school fees, lamented the high rate of out of school children in Nigeria.

“If 1,000 persons pick one child alone to cater for, it will go a long way in reducing this huge number as well as help the children to achieve greatness.

“In as much as we want to help, there is also a reason for parents to use family planning to give birth to children that will be easily catered for, considering the economy,” he said.

On her part, Mrs Ladi Bala, National President, National Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ), called on the government to provide for the children and curb the rate of kidnapping in schools.

Similarly, some stakeholders advocated the inclusion of sexuality education in school curricula to curb the increasing cases of violence against children.

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They made the call at a stakeholders’ dialogue in Abuja, organised by an NGO, ‘Hope for Second Chance Foundation’ (HOSEC), in collaboration with Youthcare Development and Empowerment Initiative.

The Founder of HOSEC, Mrs Ibukunoluwa Otesile, said the meeting was necessitated by the need to curtail the increasing cases of various forms of violence against children.

Otesile said that impacting sexuality education from a young age, will break the cultural barrier of silence when abused, expose perpetrators, and ensure prosecution, as well as provide help for survivors.

“Starting sexuality education with your children, involves telling your children all that they need to know to protect themselves.

“And it starts with their body so that when somebody is crossing the boundary with them, they will be able to alert you.

“If you have not started a conversation at all, it will become difficult for them to come and tell you when they are being violated in any form.

“We can infuse sexuality education and not seeing it as a strange concept, but as a tool that we can use to prevent and protect our children from any form of violence,” she said.

In the same vein, the Executive Director, Youthcare Development and Empowerment, Dr Adefunke Ekine, said that violence on children may lead to depression, insecurity, mental breakdown, suicide, and loss of focus in school.

Ekine, a Senior Lecturer at Tai Solarin University of Education, Ijebu Ode, Ogun, urged parents, teachers and community members to communicate more with children and enlighten them on the dos and don’ts of the body parts.

“Sexuality education empowers the girl-child especially, to be able to be ascertained, know her rights, protect herself and know that there are some areas that nobody should touch.

“We are advocating that there should be sexuality education within the school system. Teachers should be trained; literature or storybooks should be written so that children can read and know about all these.

“Then parents should spend time with their children, they should not just be looking for money. These children are so exposed to the media, so they should get information from the right source,” she said.

The Director-General, National Council for Arts and Culture, Otunba Segun Runsewe, urged parents to bridge the communication gap with their children, stressing that it would impact more on moral values.

“We have too much of a gap between the parents and children. We need to reawaken the consciousness of parents to know that they have a role to play in the upbringing of children.

“Inclusion of sexuality education in the school curriculum is not about how to have sex, so we just need to quickly impact what sexuality education is all about,” he said.

Similarly, the Director-General, National Orientation Agency (NOA), Dr Garba Abari, reiterated the commitment of the agency in educating the public on the ills of violence against women and children.

Abari, represented by Ms Grace Mama,  Chief Programme Officer, NOA, therefore, appealed to other stakeholders to partner the agency in educating the public on the effects of negative social vices.

On her part, the Minister of Women Affairs, Mrs Pauline Tallen, said a survey reveals that millions of Nigerian children suffer physical, sexual, and emotional violence from familiar people, without reporting to their parents or authorities.

“There is a need for massive awareness and sensitisation of the general populace on the dangers of violence against children and the culture of silence, by not only the victims but also witnesses,” she said.

Tallen reiterated the commitment of the government towards promoting and protecting the rights of children for self-actualisation, and effective contribution to sustainable national development.

Otesile, Founder of  HOSEC, decried  poor emphasis on protection of boys from sexual and related abuses, adding that it has exposed more children to Sexual and Gender Based Violence (SGBV).

Otesile, said that parents and organisations placed more emphasis on protecting the girl-child from all forms of abuse, neglecting the male child.

Otesile, who threw more light on the group’s advocacy to ending SGBV

explained that boys were as vulnerable as girls too, often times sexually molested without confiding in appropriate persons.

Otesile stressed the need for community involvement in reporting, prosecuting and ending SGBV.

Meanwhile, Runsewe, recently tasked the media to engage more in investigating rape and other sexual gender based violence with a view to curbing the menace.

Runsewe, during a one-day capacity building training for newsmen on “Reporting Rape,” organised by NCAC, said reporting SGBV cases would create awareness on the negative effects on victims and the society.

He added that reporting SGBV cases would also ensure justice was served and perpetrators brought to book.